Whoopie Cushion not really used for "Whoopie"Sarasota, FL 78-year-old Arland Wilkinson decided to spice up his love life a bit. It was years since he had participated in a little Hanky Panky, but he didn't know how to go about approaching his wife of 45 years. "I was nervous at first", said the retired Steel Worker from Central Maine "I just knew she would think I was crazy". After many unsuccessful attempts at hinting about the subject, he took a different route. "I thought that if I aroused her with some of the modern approaches to love-making it was all a matter of time before she found me irresistible again." This was mistake number two.
Wilkinson mistook an ordinary cheap gag for something of a sex toy. He entered a shop called Party House thinking it was some sort of one-stop shop for eroticism. Purchasing a Whoopie Cushion, he was convinced this was going to do the trick. It sure did a trick alright. "I followed the instructions carefully. Filling the rubber bladder with air and placed it gently under a sofa cushion while my wife was in the lavatory. After looking at the expression on the face of the person in the picture, I knew this would pleasure her." As soon as she returned, she sat down and involuntarily released a thunderous boom of alternative flatulents. After many hours of discussion on what happened, Arland decided to blame it on the couple's house cat never again attempting to raise the issue again.
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