Lizard Tree > Jive Turkeys become new delicacy for Thanksgiving

Jive Turkeys become new delicacy for Thanksgiving

Ewing, KS

A new breed of Thanksgiving turkey will be available in supermarkets this year. It will supply families with the traditional taste and texture of Thanksgiving turkeys, but with add something new. They will bring a bit of soul and sass to the table. "The whole point of breeding Jive Turkeys is to add a little character to Thanksgiving", says Dr. Johan Spienferg the genetic engineer who developed the Jive Turkey gene. "Most Turkeys just sit there and let you cut their heads off. Not these ones. They'll make fun of your Momma and tell you that you smell like manure. It's quite entertaining."

Jive Turkeys are not for the faint-hearted. In fact, recent studies have shown that most people find themselves convinced not to eat these funky birds. Sociologist Norman Spitz says "Never believe a Jive Turkey if he tries to tell you he doesn't taste good... Jive turkeys have been known to be less than 100% truthful. But are nonetheless, 100% flavorful."

Instead of the usual "Gobble Gobble" sound of the Thanksgiving turkey, you may hear some of these phrases:

- Your Momma wears combat boots!
- Damn baby, you're lookin' fine tonight.
- Listen Drumstick, if I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you!
- Shiiiiiit!
- Ain't no thing but a Turkey wing.
- I got five on it.
- Save the drama for yo' Momma.
- Yo yo yo, where the party be at?

So, take a walk on the soulful side and bite into one of these crazy birds. Although they are mostly dark meat, they are still very nutritious and will go well with all the fixings.