Lizard Tree > Amateur Ventriloquist Gets Co-workers Fired

Amateur Ventriloquist Gets Co-workers Fired

Tulsa, OK

Joseph Arndt, an Account Executive at Rochester & Willis Advertising in Tulsa, Oklahoma has shown that a part-time hobby can make a big impact on your career. Arndt, an amateur ventriloquist, has been honing his skills using a combination of "how-to" videos as well as reviewing tapes of professional ventriloquists (his favorite being Willie Tyler and Lester). This Wednesday, he executed two flawless "voice throws" which resulted in the immediate termination of two co-workers and almost certain promotion of Arndt.

During the "Weekly Roundup" with Evans Rochester, company founder, the following hijinks ensued:

Evans Rochester: "Our sales have gone soft this quarter? What should we do?"

Meg Foster : "We could do what you do, and take Viagra"

Al Simmons : "Or I could stop embezzling money through that accounting loophole"

Foster and Simmons attempted to explain their "indiscretions" by saying that they didn't actually say those things, but it sounded very foolish to all in the room except Arndt. As security escorted both of them out the door, with their boxes of children's little league pictures etc. Arndt was overheard as saying:

"That's a shame... Al had only three weeks to retirement, and Meg was looking forward to that promotion to Vice President. Well, if Evans needs me to step up to the plate, I'll reluctantly do so... Even though the circumstances are tragic..."