Lizard Tree > Editorial: I Was Born to Eat

I Was Born to Eat

Editorial -- Jason
Yowza!

Folks, I've realized what my purpose in life is: To Eat. It's what I was born to do. I mean, everyday, I wake up and I'm hungry... hungry to eat food. Call me crazy, but I think my goal in life is to eat on a regular basis.

What do you think the lunch hour is supposed to be for while working or while in school? It's for eating. I look back over the years and that's what I've consistently done. I eat, in fact, I eat about three times a day... with an occasional snack now and then to hold me over until my next eating session.

See, everyday, there's Breakfast... and then Lunch... and then Dinner. They're all part of my day all year long. I've been wasting my time working for a living. What I really need is to find a job where I just eat three square meals a day. It would really be less stressful for me.

Some people are born to become Politicians, or Astronauts, or even Teachers... not me my friends... I was born to eat. It's my calling and I aim to eat for the rest of my life. My only advice to you is: Please pass the salt. Don't get in the way of a man's dream. So, what's for lunch?