Supermarket Bouquet Fails to Save Relationship

"I noticed that recently things have been kinda tough for me and Cheryl," said Bilsnik, absentmindedly pulling the wrinkled petals off of a pitiful sunflower, "I just recently lost my job because of this fucking economy... And Cheryl was complaining that we never do anything together and I never buy her anything. So on my way home from Skeeter's (a local sports bar), I realized that flowers was all she wanted. I took my last $5 and put it towards the bouquet... And now this! Shit, I coulda bought a twelve pack of Coors with that money!"

And no doubt that Coors would keep him warm better than the awkward collection of leftover flowers, consisting of two sunflowers, three pink carnations, and a small mylar balloon exclaiming "Congratulations Graduate!" Soon after the presentation of the flowers, Bilsnik found himself homeless, having been kicked out of the apartment he and Cheryl were sharing.

As Bilsnik continued to mope, Cheryl was reached for comment as she headed out for the evening with girlfriends. "Len is a complete fucking idiot!" she exclaimed, "He got fired more than 8 months ago and has been virtually living at that seedy bar. He's clueless! I've been sleeping with his best friend, who at least has a job! And then he brought home this putrid collection of weeds?! That was the last straw!"