Tin Man Dies of Heart Failure

The Tin Man, of Wizard of Oz fame, was struck down this week by a massive heart attack.

"Apparently all that motor oil was bad for his human heart," concluded Dr. Frankel, the medical examiner who did the autopsy.

"Honestly I can't imagine why someone made out of very sturdy metal would want to add such a fragile human organ to their physiology."

This tragedy comes close on the heels of the awful death of The Lion. Last month, The Lion tried to stop a bank robbery and was shot seventy times. Friends say if it weren't for the bravery he wished for, he probably would have just stayed on the ground like everybody else.

These recent events have stirred memories of Dorothy's gruesome end in the wheat thresher on her aunt's farm. "This would have never happened in Oz," said the Scarecrow, who recently contracted a brain tumor. Soon afterwards the scarecrow caught fire during a radiation treatment for his brain tumor.

The people of Oz looked to the Good Witch Glenda for inspiration and hope during this time of tragedy. "Good people of Oz, we must stay strong and stick together now that our friends have passed." These were Glenda's final words before her traveling bubble burst during a feeble attempt to cross the Atlantic Ocean on a vacation to Jamaica.