What kind of name is Grandma's Cupboard??

People of America, I present to you a very serious concern I have regarding the direction of American society. It has come to my attention that I've been the victim of Radical Animal Cruelty. My owners have taken it upon themselves to breed one of the finest, pure-bred racing stallions this country has ever seen... and they've tainted this gift from heaven by giving me the gayest name I've ever heard: Grandma's Cupboard.

We all know that a race horse name, if crafted appropriately, instills fear in the competition and brings the horse with the coolest name across the finish line victorious! Tell me Seabiscuit isn't a kick-ass name... we all know a Seabiscuit is when you're swimming in the ocean and you let out a ripping fart... now how is that NOT scary?

What the hell is Grandma's Cupboard? Doesn't anyone remember that Nursery Rhyme? That bitch didn't have anything in the cupboard... it was BARE! Why don't you just call me Gluestick or Horseburger instead?

I'm so pissed right now, I can't even talk... I'm going to go take a dump on my owner's porch.