Girls of Summer back from Winter Hibernation
Hollywood, CAWhere do all those sexy ladies come from? You know, the ones that seem to have a tan the first day of Summer and seem to appear out of thin air? Those are the Girls of Summer and they've come out of Hibernation to take our streets, beaches, parks, malls and drive-ins by storm. They spend the off-season in caves full of food they foraged before the climate turns cold only to spend the the Summer purging their meals like any other aspiringly thin woman should. "It's so good to be out of those dark, stinky caves," said Girl of Summer Alison Candy-Apple. "All that moist stagnant air gives me a bad case of split ends... and I don't even want to tell you how badly I need a manicure".
Some Girls of Summer enjoy their time in the sun, but others get a bit burned out or fall in love and call it quits. Once that happens, the Summer Struttin' stops and life changes into a normal girl of every season. Girl of Summer veteran Heather Heatherson found her true love in the off season. She retired from her Girl of Summer duty to marry a bear she met during hibernation. "He's so strong and considers family to be the most important thing. Plus he knows how to fish!"
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Being a Girl of Summer is no walk in the park according to veteran Tiyana Mayana-Plubona. "You spend the entire Summer months on the beach wearing practically nothing only to be stared at, whistled to, and called sexy names... and come September, it's back into the caves for another icky Winter."
