Fourth of July Fireworks Best on Acid

"Wow, man!" gushed Nagel, "I didn't know what to expect when I took that 'blue star' that I found stuck to the bottom of my fanny pack. It must have been left over from that last Phish show I saw in Philly. I was just, like, walking past the high school football stadium when it started to kick in. Usually, I avoid that fascist establishment like red meat, but all the colors were, like, saying 'Yo cat, this is where it's at!'"

Nagel overcame his fear of jocks and patriotic crew-cut Americans in order to fully enjoy the show. People who normally wouldn't have spoken to Nagel, came up and complimented him on his pro-American attire (his red and white striped "Cat in the Hat" hat), to which Nagel, pupils as big as dimes, responded, "It's made out of HEMP, maaaaan! George Washington grew hemp! Whooooa!"

At the end of the fireworks show, Nagel quickly befriended several youngsters who had a box of sparklers. Before long, he had them all running in circles shouting, "Tracers! Tracers!"

GOD BLESS AMERICA.... MAAAAN!