Woman Offended By Use Of Word 'Probe' In Newspaper

"I am trying to raise a family. It's hard enough to explain to my children what all the horrible words they learn at school mean without the news of the day being filled with the sexual escapades of our so-called leaders. It's 'probe' this and 'probe' that... Frankly, those senators in Washington must be a bunch of perverts. I mean, they're probing our beloved President, they're probing NASA, they're even probing each other. I just hope they are sanitizing that probe."

She was shocked to learn that the local school board was also planning to probe the superintendant. "I assure you I will NOT be attending that meeting."

A fuming Hoyle admits that smut in the newspaper is nothing new. "In 1974, when they said we were 'pulling out' of Vietnam, I almost fainted. It was just after the birth of my first child, and the challenge of raising a child in this sex-crazy world became painfully clear."

When Phil Schram, the editor of the local paper, was told of the reader's outrage he said simply, "It sounds like somebody needs a good probe."