Lizard Tree > Editorial: That Wasn't A Baby Ruth, You Shouldn't Have Eaten It

Editorial: That Wasn't A Baby Ruth, You Shouldn't Have Eaten It

Editorial -- Matt

Contrary to what you believe, candy bars do not come from "on the ground". They are sold in stores, wrapped and sealed for your protection and culinary enjoyment. Candy bars are not found in parks where people walk their dogs. Yet, you claim that this is where you found that Baby Ruth bar that you are now hungrily chewing.

Now that you're done, allow me to tell you that wasn't a Baby Ruth bar, and you shouldn't have eaten it. You shouldn't even have picked it up... And, no, I won't share this Pepsi with you.

That nutty, yet sweet taste is not a pack of peanuts. I agree, Baby Ruth bars do have peanuts, like the thing you just ate. However, unlike the thing you just ate, the peanuts of a Baby Ruth bar are on the INSIDE.

Actually... You're right. What was I thinking. That WAS a Baby Ruth bar. And, if you'd care to look into that box the cat just stepped out of, you're sure to find a Twix bar.