Lizard Tree > Editorial: I Consider Drinking To Be A Hobby

Editorial: I Consider Drinking To Be A Hobby

Editorial -- Matt

Some people build train sets in their garage. Some people attend sci-fi conventions. Some people buy and sell baseball cards. That is fine for them. Everyone needs a hobby. As for me, when I have some spare time, I like to go to my favorite hobby store, "Hole-In-One Liquor".

Instead of spending the evening in a dusty garage with an assortment of hobby knives and balsa wood, I prefer spending time at the kitchen table with a bottle and a shot glass. I prepare by putting on my dirty tank-top undershirt, and my favorite boxers. My girlfriend knows that when I put on my "drinkin uniform," I mean business.

As a dedicated hobbyist, I don't open a bottle that I don't plan to finish at one sitting. Whether it's a bottle of imported Canadian wine, or the finest whiskey produced in Nevada, I will drink it, becaused I'm a dedicated hobbyist. I even keep a drinking log. Unfortunately I noticed that I've been writing on the same line for the past six months.

I tell you, I've had hobbies before but none of them have captured my interest like this one. It's all I can think about all day long. In fact, today I have planned to sample a tall-boy from each of the high-quality malt liquor producers in the country. Thank goodness I lost my job. Now I can more fully devote myself to this intoxicating hobby!