NASA Changes Name To Planets-n-Shit

Sean O' Keefe, Administrator of Planets-n-Shit, promised new and exciting space programs in the months and years ahead. "We have been out of step with the public for a long time," admitted O'Keefe, "We have been so busy trying to solve the complex and - let's face it - boring problems of the Universe that we have neglected our TV audience. As a result, our viewers have switched from our Space Shuttle missions to more accessible forms of entertainment, most notably reality TV."

Outlining the revised goals of Planets-n-Shit, O'Keefe announced an upcoming space-based reality show similar to CBS's Survior. In the show, 8 very attractive singles with heinous emotional baggage and claustrophobia will be marooned on the International Space Station. Challenges such as pooping into a bag in zero-gravity and subsisting on Tang and dehydrated Chicken a la King will be captured by several cameras throughout the station and transmitted back to earth with hilarious results.

Planets-n-Shit expects the untrained astronauts will probably use the airlocks as a means of "escape" from the banality of their fellow competitors. The final survivor, if there is one, will be allowed to return to earth.

Another mission announced at the press conference is to blow up Mars into "little-bitty bits". O'Keefe: "America is tired of watching us gingerly parachute little remote control vehicles to the surface of the Red Planet. There's nothing there but rocks-n-shit... We'll be launching several hundred nuclear weapons at Mars in time to detonate during sweeps week. We expect that all Americans will turn their heads skywards to see the amazing sight of another planet being turned into astro-dust."

Fans of the old NASA are livid with outrage over the plan. But since they are just a bunch of pocket-protector wearing, slide-rule using, Star-Trek watching, perpetually single and lonely dorks with asthma, Planets-n-Shit expects stronger Americans will beat them into submission if they raise a fuss.