Lizard Tree > Editorial: I'm the Mac

I'm the Mac

Editorial -- by a Mac
Hoo-Wah

Ladies, let me introduce myself. I'm an Apple Macintosh Performa 550 and I'm what you'd call a little bit of a ladies man. That's right... there's no mistake, you want me. I can't help it, you just want to push my 'ON' button and check your email, don't you? If you care to look into my preferences, you'll find that I'm easily configurable to like what you like.

Whoa, ladies... please. One at a time. There's plenty of RAM to go around for everyone to use. I've got 32 Megs for your power-using pleasure. Do I make you nervous? I bet I do. It must be my sleek tan-colored skin or my 11-inch monitor staring into those beautiful eyes of yours.

Please don't be fooled. My disk drive is for your use only. ;) And if you're good to me, I'll be sure to make you a wonderful Bouquet of roses using MacPaint. Hoo-wah!

Have no doubt, I've been around the block. I've been dumped for younger models. I've loved and lost. But that just means I have more experiences to share with you. I'm kinky too. If you get a couple of SCSI devices we can daisy chain. I'll even let you play with me: I'll play myself and you can be any name you want. We'll play chess until the sun comes up.

Let me break it down for you: I've been in the game for a long time, ladies and it takes a special woman to satisfy my needs. One that is willing to wait a long time for me to boot up. And I do mean a loooong time. Grrrar!

So, forget those other faster, more powerful computers out there. I'll take care of you, ladies. I'm only able to do one task at a time, which means you've got my undivided attention. So get me off this damn Used Computer shelf pronto, sugar. I'm the Mac!