Lizard Tree > White Rapper is Terrible Lyricist

White Rapper is Terrible Lyricist

Santa Monica, CA

Small Hands

An up-and-coming rap artist has gotten the recording industry in an uproar; not because he's a spoiled rich kid from Beverly Hills, but because he's a terrible lyricist. MC White Fresh has had trouble writing catchy lyrics to go along with his blatantly stolen music loops.

"I'm just tryin' to keep it real the way I know how," says White Fresh "and if that means I have to write sub-par lyrics, then so be it, yo." After several minutes of reciting poorly-aranged rap lines, White Fresh had this to say: "I ain't never witnessed a real drive by... then i remembered how the paper boy be deliverin the Sunday paper from his daddy's station wagon, so I wrote about the time I almost got hit wit da paper."

Writing about things that don't make much for entertainment are what drives White Fresh. An example of his worthless lyrics are as follows:

Gettin' with my woman in the doggie position,
Sucking down 40's like it was prohibition.
I gots my shit connected like Cisco Systems,
I haven't seen my parents in a while and I really miss 'em.

When asked about his inspiration for his lyrics, he simply replied: "Word to your familial matron!"

You can expect his album entitled "White Fresh is gonna git you and take your cash money" to hit the stores... never and will sell a record number of zero copies. But according to White Fresh, "it's not about the music, it's about the message." Don't worry Mr. Fresh, we've got the message.