Carnie College: Providing Excellence in Carnival WorkersThe CircusJoe Schmenge, a Carnie College graduate discusses his favorite and least favorite classes: "My least favorite class was the one on dental hygiene. We were forced to drink 32 ounces of mountain dew and eat eight snickers bars every day until at least half of our teeth fell out."
"The trick is," continued Schmenge, "there are two buttons... one makes it go faster while the other one slows it down. It's embarrassing to insinuate that you are about to increase the speed of the ride and then accidentally slow it down."
Carnie College doesn't discriminate based on race, age or religion,
but they do give a certain amount of preference to people who claim to
have met or been a roadie for Ozzy Osbourne.
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"My favorite class was Carnie Vocabulary 101. In that class we
learned the subtle art of yelling, 'wanna go faster?' while working
the complicated controls of the Gravitron."
