Identity Thief Having Time of Your Life
Tucson, AZ
Jay Krasznyk used your social security card to get a truck driver's license, which is something you've always dreamed of. You always wondered what it would be like to cruise the American highways for a living. Now your identity is doing it for you.
Jay also decided to raid your bank accounts, and stuffed hundreds of dollars in small bills into the g-strings of several Las Vegas strippers on your behalf. And your wife will be happy to learn that your identity has married one of them.
People have always said that you work too hard, and that you need to use your savings to cut loose once in a while. Well, now thanks to that identity thief, you're identity is having more fun than you ever had, or will ever have, in your life.
You've often fantasized about taking a rental car, not buying the extra insurance, and entering it into a crash-up derby. "That would be sweet," you told yourself. Well, according to a court summons from somewhere in Kentucky, you finally did it.
What the hell, look at the bright side... At least someone enjoys being you.